Well, I managed to finally put the whole thing together and launch my campaign on Indiegogo. After feeling frustrated for a week plus, particularly this past weekend, I should have felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
Instead, I have this feeling of dread, anger, and an overwhelming sense of impending doom. It’s been one whole day, and I somehow feel worse about this whole thing than I had when this idea first came to mind.
Maybe it was the utter stupidity of making it a Facebook event and trying to be myself and funny at the same time, while getting DECLINES within 24 hours.
It feels like I really am an asshole for sticking my neck out there and asking for something big when it’s my instinct not to. It’s not good, and I don’t know how to fight it.
Two weeks ago, I said I’ve never felt a fire in myself before. Now, I’m afraid that I’ll be burned alive and I can’t stop it from happening.